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These Are My "Insights"

February, 2013
Love Is A Choice

Is there such a thing as love at first sight, do you believe in, does it even exist when you first meet someone. There is an instant attraction, the emotional/infatuation can be strong. Your heart skips a beat, you get butterflies in your stomach. At times you’re speechless with excitement. Just thinking about that person, or talking about them to other people sends an endorphin rush. Excitement washes over you like a cascade of warm fuzzies. Hearing their voice on the phone, or even getting a text hurls you into orbit. You possibly designate a special ring tone, waiting and making sure you don’t miss any opportunity to hear from them. Your awareness is on high alert, that cheerful sensation washes over you like a waterfall that becomes addicting. You need your audio, visual, and verbal fix. You tell everyone who will listen, how glorious life is. How wonderful and magnificent this person is whom you’ve just met and came into your life.

        Dating is an adventure/task all its own when you’re trying to be exclusive with someone in your own town, near by, or long distance. The effort can be challenging at best. So many obstacles and road blocks. If you happen to be in a long distance relationship. The challenges where multiplied 10 fold. Writing letters (with countless) pages. Stamp after stamp waiting became unbearable for a response. Life happened far faster than the reply and return time. Especially when a Holiday was near, having to wait several more days. And that’s if the person responded the same day they received your letter. If you happen to have the money, the immediate response was a phone call. Not a guarantee the person would be home, leaving a message on their answering machine. Collecting the preverbal phone tag, adding several hundred dollars or more onto the phone bill each month. Depending how long you talked and how often.

    That was prior to July of 1996, that‘s when the internet and AOL exploded with popularity. Fast forwarding to modern times and the miracles of technology. Ever evolving and improving to make it easier for people to meet. The distance between two people no matter the location(s) in the world is cut by 90%. There are so many ways to communicate and connect with someone, its almost stalkerish. With all the capabilities nowadays. Computers, laptops, tablets, and smart phones. Social medias, emails, webcams, texting, picture mail. The potential is almost invasive in the ways people can unite. Comparison to yester year. Being in a long distance relationship is as easy as picking up the phone. The immersion is virtually complete, minus the physical contact. You practically need to be disenchanted with someone for the relationship not to work. Making excuses, rationalizing, and convincing yourself in having no faith in the other person.

   There are variables in lifestyles, schedules, normal routines, time changes when it comes to distance. Yes, there is a bit more work in planning to spend time together. I’m not expressing it’s going to be easy, or a walk in the park. What I’m articulating is that it’s “easier” than it use to be.  What I’m communicating is when you’re truly enamored with someone. The feelings are genuine, the location and distance shouldn’t be a factor. Both people need to continuously contribute equal effort for the relationship to have any kind of sustainability. The end goal is to ultimately be together. Until one person initiates the physical move of their life and willing to relocate towards the other. Both people are still getting to know each other. Taking into consideration the trend is dead as much as the black and white television programs, where you meet a special someone through someone else. The gate has swung wide open now to the entire world. It’s not just the circle of friends, co-workers, family members, and acquaintances anymore. People don’t have to depend on others to find a special someone. If you’re willing and have an open mind to take that chance. You unlocked so many possibilities to find that right person.

 The key is knowing what you want, don’t want, and especially what are deal breakers in a mate. Distance is only a temporary inconvenience at best. What’s a couple of years (at most) finding out about the other person. Comparing to the rest of your life. It’s time well spent, when you’ve find that right person. All it takes is patience’s, understanding, and a willing attitude.

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January, 2013
Resolution/Evolution

        January first of every year, there’s a collective ritual of starting over. Trying to break a negative or bad habit. My question is, why wait. The preverbal I’ll start on Monday, the first of the month, etc. What’s the significant pay off for waiting. If your hungry, do you tell yourself. I’ll eat when the time is right. I‘ll do it after, I get past these other things first.

         If your truly motivated in making a difference. Why wait and have the possibility for failure, or ultimately not doing it at all. If you in all honesty want an item of clothing, that special gift you’ve been wanting. You may or may not wait until it’s on sale. When you’re truly ready, you purchase it devoid of any regret, and triumphantly walk away. So proud you finally have that one thing you’ve been waiting for.

         Now, understanding the decisions in life aren’t that easy or fast to overcome. When the signs of life show it’s not working anymore and change is needed. We typically dismiss the signs and red flags in our face. Excuses are made, it’s not that bad. Reasons are expressed why it’s not our fault. Justification after explanation spew out like water from a broken fire hydrant. Contemplating and hoping if we complain to enough people, life will get better on it own. There’s a price to pay for keeping things the same. And there’s a price for making things better. Which cost would you rather pay! Complaining will not get you past it, only working towards the solution will.

         No matter what has happened in the past. Short or long term of an event. You’ve accomplished so much already, if you know it or not. The greatest achievement about today? You lived through yesterday and you’re past it now. It’s your choice if you want to relive it in your mind. Pain is evadible, we’ll never escape it. Misery is a choice! A time in my life, I’d hold on to things and allow them to fester and eat away at me. Thinking I couldn’t do thing one about it. Realizing now, I could’ve taken action.

More To Come.