Diamand Dave™
"The New Standard"
Living The Dream..

Your Subtitle text

2008

October, 2008
Misconception Of A BBW 

I want to clear something up for the people that don't know or have no idea that the media has shoved down our throats. Preaching to us from their high horse in order to be accepted, desirable and not only sexy, but also sensual and sexual. From right out of the gate we are taught to conform and be like everyone else. We should not stand out. Having rules from A to Z, and all point in between. If you don’t look, act, react, behave and be like minded in the matter I do? I will reject, finger wag, and criticize your difference.

I have found there are a general misconception of BBW's that are not very flattering. Case and point I have seen these things in more than one demographic of society. In no specific order I have found things that people truly believe about a BBW (fat, obese, etc.) Do people not say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? So it is not just one group.

Here are some examples of what I have heard people say and what has been told to me personally.

  • Gross Looking
  • Unkept
  • Uneducated
  • Lazy
  • Foul Smelling
  • Low Self-Esteem
  • Unmotivated
  • Unrefined
  • Easy
  • Sloppy
  • Always Hungry
  • No Self Control


This MySpace page/site is showing that you can be sexy at any size. To me its all about your attitude and in your self image. Showing the world that a big girl can be sexy, attractive, sensual, and alluring. Don’t be pushed down by society because you are not like all the rest.

It is all about the person that you are on the inside. It is what you tell yourself when no one else is around. Having the confidence that you are more than just ok. I am trying to show that we are all beautiful in our own way. Everyone is some one’s eye candy.... There is nothing sexier than to see a confident BBW. It's about being self assured with who you are. This idea is what I am bringing to the forefront. And to allow people to see that there are BBW's out there who can carry themselves very well. I do not want people to label everyone negatively the same way society does. Talk to people. See where they are coming from.

I am trying to allow people to see that just because you don't look like all the rest, doesn't mean that you need to be like all the rest. I want the general population to see BBW as they are. Having an open mind is key. These are just a few. I hope with cooperation we can show the world the BBW Community can be proud of who and what we are. Society is starting to get the idea(s) we’re not going away. The BBW Community is here to stay. Not only here to stay, we are not going to be ignored.

I want people to see a BBW as.....

  • Confident
  • Assertive
  • Motivated
  • Hard Working
  • Successful
  • Strong
  • Able-Bodied
  • Bold
  • Secure
  • Composed
  • Thriving
  • Triumphant
  • Powerful
  • Optimistic
  • Brave

No matter the shape or size. We all can accomplish great things together. 
 
----------------------------------------

August 2008
Missionary Dating... 

Missionary Dating is a collective thought that has been brewing for a number of years. I feel manipulating change in someone into what you feel they should or could be in your own mind is not only wrong, but also dishonest. Does this always work to have people trained to be like minded in a healthy loving relationship? Most of the time it does not. We need to accept each other for who, what, and how we are, not the way that the other person should, could or even can be. Know what you are getting into before giving your heart completely away. Just take your time in getting to know who they are and what they are about the way they conduct there own live.

Being Proactive and not Reactive is the Key! It may not be what you should stop doing, but more over what you should Start doing to make things better. Knowing what you want and knowing how to get it is the most important thing that you can do for yourself and the other person. You will save yourself a lot of heartache, time, and frustration. Going in with an agenda and goals that you have already preset for yourself. The decisions you make will weed out a lot of time and energy that will not fall by the way side. Look for traits that you want, and traits that will last a life time. The traits that will get you through the great times, the good times, as well as the bad, and even the worse times. If you want tenderness, respect, and admiration in your relationship then that's what you need to make as a goal.

If you needed to go to the hospital, are you going to just get in your vehicle and drive around aimlessly hoping that you will by chance stumble on top of it? Of course not. You are going to do some research, maybe even look in the phone book, call directory assistance, get directions and even map quest it for the shortest route and the fastest way. Why can't dating life be the same way? You say, well? It's not that easy. I know it isn't. Yet, at the same time, why not at least make it as simple as possible with the least amount of obstacles . To have a basic foundation from there you can build on it. Also, to have a list of deal breakers. If that person has this or that in the deal breakers the story ends there. Believe in what you want! We generate the results in life that we believe and feel we deserve.

If that person isn't your 100% match? You can still be friends and know where you stand in the friendship. Don't give away more emotion, then you can afford to lose. All the while you can sharpen your skills finding that special person. Be who you want to attract in your life. Don't compromise yourself. Everyone says I want to be happy. What does that mean to you? Explore what that means to you, because it is different for everyone.

We all have baggage that we carry with us. The real factor is not how much or how little baggage we are carrying, but the type of baggage it is. Meaning, will your baggage be filled with tools of helping the relationship grow into something healthy, loving, and strong? Or do you have the type of baggage that will taint and destroy it. Having bitterness and anger in your life will be like a poison that will develop into a cancer that you will carry around with you, You are the only common denominator in every relationship. Try and act like this is your first relationship. Because in a lot of ways. It is with someone new. You can have a fresh start and rewrite a new history. Looking into the future while holding on to the past will cause you to fail to live in the now and the present. Go in with a clear mind and not a distorted one. If you don't create the life you want or the environment that you strive for? Who will? Envision the life you want and need for yourself. Then go out and get it.

Trying to make some one into the person that you feel you want them to be or should be is never a good idea. This comes from My Thoughts On Marriage blog. Looking for someone to be in your life should only enhance what is going on in your life and not be a substitute, or a replacement of something that should already be there. It should not be two empty cups trying to fulfill the other. It is just not going to work.

I tried to get my thoughts out as simple as I could! To allow you to see that at least one guy gets it!

---------------------------------------- 

May, 2008
Inner Conscience

I have always been attracted to Big Girls. I have always found them physically appealing, to the point that I am attracted to Big Girls exclusively. My friends didn't understand and treated me as an outcast because they were always dating "model type" girls. I was looked down upon because of my preference. I wanted to change but I just didn't find the type of girls they preferred sexually attractive. Yes, I thought that they were cute and even at times pretty but I was not interested in dating them. I felt like I was the only guy who liked Big Girls. In my teen years, especially in high school, I battled mentally and emotionally with my preference. I didn't really understand why I liked Big Girls the way I did. I felt I was making horrible choices and I struggled with my preference. I even tried keeping it to myself. I was insanely conflicted with myself. I was not the only victim of my inner struggle. I left a precious person in the wake of my emotional upheaval. I was trying to find myself but I hurt someone very special to me and lost some close friends in the process. I wish I could apologize for my inexcusable behavior towards her, I held so dear to my heart...

I did a lot of soul searching and self examination to try and figure out what I really want out of life. I felt pushed and pulled in two and different directions; the norms of society and my own personal desires. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually I just decided to stand by my preferences. I realized I didn't have to cater to other people's opinions. I in some small way figured it out. I had to look at myself in the mirror at the end of the day. No one else did, only me. That’s when I had to be responsible for my own happiness. I lost some close friends in the process, which was painful. I didn't understand, and I knew that I needed to be happy with myself and my decisions.

Once I embraced my preference it was as if an enormous weight had been lifted off of me. I felt liberated. The personal turmoil that I had been battling with for so many years had finally come to an end. I started to make decisions based on what I wanted rather than what I thought other people expected. I began to focus on my integrity, dignity, and self respect and the people around me. Honoring the way I wanted to live my life made me happy. Going against social norms. I started to stand up, plug in, and switch on. More importantly I became an active participant in my own happiness. I was still might be criticized for my preferences, but I didn't care. This was what made me happy! I became more confident and self-assured in my choices. When someone asked me what type of woman I preferred, I responded to them with pride! I am proud of the progress I have made. Being true to oneself is paramount. To this day, I never apologize, make excuses, or feel ashamed of my personal desires and beliefs. I have not ever been, nor will I ever be a closeted BBW admirer!

We all have our preferences and we are entitled to them. Hopefully more people will feel compelled to embrace who they are, what they are, and where they are. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness and it is something that begins on the inside. No one should ever take your power away from you. You need to decide what is good for you and you alone. Shortly, your mind and body will soon follow. So you need to make a decision that you will not allow your mind to be filled with the things you know not to be true about yourself. As we begin to accept ourselves as we are we will move towards being accepting of those around us. Having self confidence you will not worry about what other people think. Being secure in who you are as a person, you should not dwell on others or what they say about you. If you are divorced (or separated) from your true self. You will not ever be happy. I personally feel that we need to find out who and what we are actually fighting for! I hope you will join me in creating a place where people feel accepted, encouraged, motivated, and respect one another. I proudly live with my convictions and not because it is convenient. I want to have my strength, dignity, and honor be my clothing.

----------------------------------------

February, 2008
My Thoughts On Marriage

My Dad gave me 3 rules to know if you are ready to Marry someone!

1. How do you know that this person loves you? Do they show it, and how?

2. If this person never changes for the rest of there life would that be ok?

3. If she/he was the Last thing you saw before you went to sleep, and the First thing you saw when you woke up, for the rest of your life? Would that be ok?

I believe and know that a Marriage is not a 50/50 effort. It needs to be 100% on both sides! It is a give and take (a compromise on both sides). You need to be a friend to your partner. You need to find out what makes that person tick. Find out what her interests are and support her. Try it out, if you don't like it at least you tried and maybe she will be willing to do the same in whatever you are into as well? If she likes cooking or even knitting, get into it with her and it can be something that the both of you can share together. Hopefully it will bring an unbreakable bond. There should be a balance, not a competition on who is right or wrong! Treat her like an equal, cause she is!

Go out on a date with her. Just because you are "Married" doesn't mean that you have to let the relationship become stale and boring. Have a time that you both set aside for the two of you. Doesn't have to cost a lot or really anything. Its the time that really matters and what you do with it. For example, make a picnic lunch and take it to the park. Or surprise her at work with lunch you made or brought for the two of you. Become the person that you wanted to marry and want to be with for the rest of your life. Leave her notes that say. "I love you" , "you are thinking of her" , "you are proud of her", "I appreciate you for all that you do". It seems that the more that you put into the relationship the more that you will get back. And ultimately the both you will be happy. Yes I understand that no one is Perfect! I believe that we can find someone that can be perfect for each other.

As long as both of you are working on it. The happier you make your partner, the more that your partner will want to do for you to show how happy she will be in the long run. Having the mentality. What can I put into this relationship to make it better. Not what can I get out of it to make me happy? There's nothing sexier to a woman then to have her man/husband take over the house (cleaning, kids, etc.) for a while she goes to take a hot bubble bath (or whatever) to just relax or take a few minutes to herself. You want her to feel really special? When you both talk, have the TV off and/or stop what you are doing and give her your complete and undivided attention. Allow her to know she is being heard and she is the most important thing to you and you want to know what she has to say is important to you.

You want her heart to skip a beat because she hears your voice on the phone when you call or see sees you drive up the driveway and she is excited to have you home. Knowing she is a priority above all else and she is number one in your life. Excited about the time you are about to spend together. Rather then get sick to her stomach because she knows that you are going to be critical and finger pointing in all the downfalls and short comings that she has. I would rather be mentally healthy alone. Then sick with someone in an unhealthy distorted relationship.

Of course, we have to be our own person and do what makes us happy. I am just talking about when you are together. The potential unbroken bond that is formed through time, effort, and energy both have surrendered too. This is in a nutshell! 

 

 

 



Content copyright . Diamand Dave. All rights reserved.